Hi Ya'll, It's Mary Margaret, director of Client Care and Marketing, here again and I'm so glad you're back! We've got another helpful post for you today!
If you read our last post, A letter to the new Fiancée, then you might have had a blissful week of engagement! You celebrated with your fiancé and put the wedding planning book aside. But now it's a new week and you can't put the planning off forever, or maybe you're anxious to get back at it! So, now you're thinking, "all those tips you mentioned were great, but I've got to plan a wedding eventually. How do I do this and not have an anxiety attack?"
Well, I can't promise no anxiety, but I can give you some guidance on keeping planning low stress. Let's first acknowledge, that not everyone is coming from the same situation. Each bride that comes across this post has a one-of-kind, unique story that comes with it's own individual complications and relationships. I don't know all the stories and I don't know all the details that may make planning your wedding hard, but I think a little perspective shift might just do the trick, or at least help.
So I have a question for you. What is most important to you about your wedding day? Is it the food? The dancing? The company? Or is it something entirely different? My guess is something comes to mind when I ask you that question. And for many of us, the answer isn't, " to get married and celebrate our new life together."
Ladies, that just might be part of the problem.
What is the true goal of a wedding? To get married right? I think a lot us, I was right there too, get so lost in creating out "dream" wedding, that we stress ourselves out! We make everything a big deal, because in our culture, it is a big deal. Don't get me wrong, getting married is a huge deal, but does planning it have to be? I think too many of us get distracted by all the little details, or the latest trends, or what other people are telling us we should do.
Y'all, I confess, this totally happened for me. I really wanted to have the most beautiful wedding. I wanted it to be magazine perfect and secretly hoped that my wedding would be featured in one. That kind of thinking applies pressure and it takes your eye off the ball, creating a wedding that celebrates you and your fiancé, your personalities, your relationship, your story. My husband and I did have a beautiful wedding, though you won't see it in any magazine. In the end, it was perfect, for us.
So, how do you plan a wedding that tells your story without getting distracted by all the things?
First, keep your eye on the prize. Forgive me for the cliché, but it's true. Focus, focus, focus, on what really matters, you're getting married!! What a wonderful, exciting event!! Things will likely go wrong, something will likely not be exactly as you imagined, but if, at the end of the day, you are married, then, my friend, it was a joyful, joyful day! In your mind, set your goal to get married and celebrate! That's it! Repeat this in you head when you start heading for the distracted places. Tell your maid of honor, your mother, your planner, whoever is helping you, so that they can remind you when things get more complicated. You won't regret it!
Figure out what matters to you. It's just too much to try to make it all perfect. Pick two or three things to really invest in emotionally or financially. What three things do you care about the most? For me it was flowers, venue, and our legacy table. These were the things I invested my time, energy, and heart into. Then, with everything else, just make the best decision you can with what you have. For some, food is a hill for them to die on, while others care about the music or photographer.
Figure out what matters to your fiancé and let him be in charge of it! If he really wants a certain type of music or a particular suit, let him take charge. A lot of men do want to be involved, they just don't always know how. Plus, it gives you another area to take off your plate. My husband is a music guy, so I let him research the playlists, make a lists of songs, and choose the DJ! It was the best. I still had input, but he was coming to me with ideas first! It was great!
Let go of the trends. Does anyone else get tired trying to keep up with the latest styles? They seem to change so much! Four years ago blush was all the rage and now there is a surge of lavenders and dusty blues. Whether you like to keep up with the trends, or actively fight them, try not to let them influence you! If you love red, then goodness, let your bridesmaids wear red! Don't force yourself into a color palette, style, or taste that isn't you. You'll be so much happier if you make decisions that fit you, rather than trying to follow (or fight) the mainstream style.
At the end of the day friends, you have one goal, to marry your best friend and celebrate! Our hope is that is exactly what you get to do! No matter the size, style, or feel of your wedding, we want you to have fun, to celebrate with your people, and to be married. Remember this. We can't promise that all the stress will melt away, but we truly believe focusing on what matters can relieve it.
With love and joy,